How many times have I said, as The Mouth, that our area seems to be lacking a great burger joint? Its for that reason that I was so excited to learn about a new restaurant, Wise Guys Burgers and Fries in Seaside. With the fun name and a fun logo on their website, I was instantly charmed (I must admit, I do have an odd fondness for anything that seems mob related). I was very disappointed, then, that Wise Guys fell short of my expectations. After a lot of thought and two return visits, I can only give them a rating of two stars let me explain why.

At Wise Guys, you order at the counter and then a server brings your food out to you. One of the items I wanted to order, the Coney Island hot dog, wasnt available, which also meant another dish I wanted to try, the Coney burger, was also not an option. As an appetizer, I tried to order the clam dip, which sounded interesting, but was told that, too, was unavailable, as the cost of cream cheese had gotten too high. While I can understand all those things, its still annoying not to be able to order what you want.

An order of deep-fried mushrooms came out first, and they looked very appetizing. They werent served with any sort of sauce, though, and on their own they were bland. I asked our server what she would recommend for a dipping sauce, and she said their fry sauce would be great with them. I never got any fry sauce, though, even after I reminded her that I would like some. Again, I could overlook this if the place was busy, but there was only one other table.

Most importantly, if youre staking your entire business on the quality of your burgers, the burgers should be outstanding, and the burgers were just mediocre. The burger patties, though thick and well-formed, had no flavor and were cooked to the point of being tough and dry. My cheeseburger was topped with a thick hunk of iceberg lettuce that was so large it ripped the top bun. The Portobello mushroom burger, as described in the menu, was to come with lettuce, tomato and sauce, but the sauce seemed to be absent, making for a dry and bland sandwich.

A French dip sandwich was just okay; the roast beef slices were tough to bite through, and it was very greasy. Beer-battered cod fish and chips were tasty, though, with a pleasing, crunchy exterior, and the hand-cut fries and onion rings are very good I must mention, though, that there was no ketchup on our table, and when I asked the server for some, she walked to a nearby table, picked up a bottle, and handed it to me without wiping it off first, when moments before I had seen a diner with an obvious head-cold sneeze into their hands and then touch the bottle.

On a subsequent visit, I entered the restaurant during normal business hours, but there was no one there. The door was open, and I walked in and stood at the counter for a few minutes, before walking around a bit and saying hello with no response. All told, I was there for probably 10 minutes, and the restaurant seemed completely deserted. I do not live in close proximity to the restaurant, so this, too, was annoying.

On my third visit, the Coney Island hot dog was still unavailable, so I tried the Wise Guys special burger, a one-third pound patty topped with ham, bacon, a fried egg, cheese, lettuce and tomato. Although extremely messy and almost too big to fit my mouth around, the burger was tastier than the others I had tried, owing primarily to the bacon. The burger patty, once again, was lacking in flavor and was tough and dry.

Sometimes new restaurant owners bite off a little more than they can chew, so to speak, when it comes to creating a menu. At Wise Guys, there are 10 different burgers, nine specialty sandwiches, and six sides/appetizers, which, I think, is too ambitious a menu for a new restaurant. I would much rather see a menu with 10 really great burgers and nothing else, save for maybe a milkshake, which I think would be a nice addition.

My goal as The Mouth is to report my experiences accurately, in the interest of informing diners about what they can expect when they want to spend their hard-earned dollars on dining out. My goal is to be honest, but it is not my goal to be mean-spirited. Unfortunately, my experiences at Wise Guys Burgers and Fries did not meet my expectations, and I dont feel I can recommend it.